70 posts tagged “mobile”
There's a voice in my head now that beats me up for walking slow. I can't help it really, I'm semi-handicapped with uncertain feet, and painful ankles, knees, hips. Why did D browbeat me and put me down for this? I kept thinking it was "just his way" of expressing frustration. But what "friend" ever browbeats another just out of frustration for something that can't be changed?
Oh my, I really don't want this ugly, hateful voice in my head. The truth is it hurts not only because it's cruel, but because I believe I'm damaged goods who no one wants.
I still need reprogramming, preferably an intensive course. I wonder if this browbeating voice now will ever go away.
Loud people upset me. I don't expect everyone to be silent, but there must be some decibel range, where they stop and you begin. What are the parameters in a civil society? Do I really need to listen to someone masturbate over my head? I have my fans and my white noise machine, they are Godsends! But some people really do simply bellow, I don't understand.
An article I need to read starts: "Do loud people have annoying voices. Or are all voices annoying with volume?"
Investigate.
This is what I believe. I believe that honesty is rooted only in truth. There is no honesty outside truth. If truth is not the root, then there is no honesty.
To those who argue otherwise I would only ask, what snakepit of lies are you guarding? "Emotional honesty" is highly susceptible to being underpinned by lies.
If a person decouples truth from honesty, then "honesty" can spout lies, which is a w-i-d-e open door. Decoupling anything from Truth keeps us mired in lies. The only way to stay clean is to keep everything connected up with Truth..
My heart is a homeless community.
My heart is a homeless garden.
I'm really hurting today, due to some cruelty and abuse I encountered. I'm trying to *work through* it and "own" the part that's mine.... I guess that means owning my fragility, my ability to be hurt? duh?
I need to find more people truly dedicated, I mean REALLY dedicated, to respect and kindness, above all, above all!
It's hard to see "the commons" sinking more and more into the abusive media swill, being more and more affected by it. I feel sad, I feel it in my gut, and sometimes I feel scared, that people are descending more and more into senselessness.
For those who know the area, this is Scott Creek. Hwy 1 is behind me, then the ocean. The tendrils of smoke you can see in the distance are redwoods, madrone, and bay laurel burning in vertical sandy ravines. CalFire is attending to a hotspot on the right. Trucks and firefighters are visible up Swanton Road. According to reports, the fire is 40% contained, but could easily spread, difficult ravine to difficult ravine. Redwoods are so magnificent and rare, it's hard to see them burning.
Do you ever wonder who serves who? It seems more and more like the machine or the system expects us to serve *it* -- instead of us expecting it to serve us!!
Do you feel vaguely dehumanized like I do every time you have to reach a voice messaging system and have to navigate the prompts, even though none of them describe the purpose of your call? Are you also vaguely sickened by the increase of computers initiating calls to you?
When you call and finally speak to a service provider, are you annoyed and confused by their repeating of your account info, even though you just punched it in in order to reach them?
Here's another example this morning. I have been getting spam text messages on my phone, which are illegal since there's a cost to receive each message. A few years ago I asked that spam be blocked from my text messaging, so I called this morning to find out how to report these coming through. Apparently the spam blocking filter needs to be renewed annually. WTF?? Like there is going to be a time where I will have a change of heart and actually want spam???
The main thing is that nobody bothered to tell me this, so the filter went off and I started getting spam. Are the spammers somehow paying the phone providers to have access to us, the cattle? It doesn't make sense to me that filtering would require annual renewal.
It seems like just another way the machine manipulates and uses us, instead of serving us.
The word 'succor' came to me this morning, an old-fashioned word seldom used now.
To live a principled life isn't effective if one has to abuse onesself to achieve it. Principles are our guiding light. If we don't walk in beauty towards them we are missing the whole point!
May we all receive succor and offer it back, which is the whole joy. And principle! :)
Rest stop. I have now gone 13 miles!
I'm riding in a fundraiser today. This is the check-in.
