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Enjoying this beautiful rancho in Carmel Valley today. It's serene here. I don't normally swim in public in front of others, but I've been swimming here -- an accomplishment! It feels good, and for the first time in a long time my neck doesn't hurt. I will come back here for sure.
At San Jose train station, waiting for the bus to Monterey.
Currently my bike is my only vehicle, but I kept breaking spokes in the rear wheel due to the stress of carrying stuff besides myself. Apparently the wheel was built for the bare minimum of stress -- hence the bicycle's affordability. Anyway, my bike mechanic suggested I get a new, heavier duty wheel so I ordered one made -- it came today, they installed it, and wow! There's a huge difference in feel, even unloaded. It rolls more smoothly and really does seem more durable. A great investment! So my vehicle "repair" bill was only..... $114 for parts and labor, much better than a car! Here's the pony loaded up with groceries, I have no fear of being stranded now. I'm on my way home...
Attending a community forum today on public transportation and transit-oriented development along El Camino Real, a major 60 mile urban corridor in my area. Fascinating. I love transportation and community issues.
Am I crazy? After being browbeaten by a manager in Hobee's Restaurant, and being lectured and patronized by another waitress in Crescent City, I now feel violated by my physical therapist. This morning when she was pulling my shoulder I tensed up and said "oww!" because it hurt -- and she started arguing with me! She told me to relax and wouldn't stop, even though I was tensing up and saying "ow, don't!" That can't be right. Am I wrong about this? It's my body! But she was arguing with me and insinuating that I was "just being difficult."
I don't understand why stuff like this happens to me. My new age friends would say that something I'm doing is "calling" these experiences to me. WTF? I'm in physical therapy because I'm in pain. That fact makes me vulnerable. I'm also paying, and it's my body. Isn't the whole point is to reduce pain, and not add to it psychically and emotionally by arguing with me when I communicate a limit or express discomfort?
All you "you create your own reality" people out there -- I don't think there's anything about my actions, intentions or beliefs that *caused* this to happen. It could be resulting from our collective stress right now though....
The question is what to do. I did not feel it appropriate to blast, have a meltdown, or create a scene. But I *was* violated in a way. My body is not hers to push and pull without my consent.
In ANY kind of body therapy -- medical, chiropractic, physical therapy or massage -- it's important to feel safe, to feel respected. Our bodies are not machines, they house our being. My heart and soul are inside. We are not allowed to violate each other's limits and boundaries, especially in a therapeutic setting. Period as far as I'm concerned.
So I'm left with this energy, this yukky anger and sense of mistreatment. What to do?
The power of words is well known. The Logos is the Word. Small letter 'word' is similar to large letter 'Word'. Both have creative power. The Jews still have a wonderful ethic about words, very developed, here's a link.
The word 'decide' for example, it struck me this morning is always connected to a verb. We don't decide chair, or decide door. It's also not connected to an adjective -- we don't decide flat, or decide smooth. Decide 'on' is a verb all by itself. But decide alone is always connected to a verb. Decide is also an extremely powerful word.
Contrast this with judge. Judge is also a 'decision' of sorts, but it is never connected to a verb. We don't judge to run, or judge to sweep.
Judge is not our word. It's God's word. I feel horrible when I use or hear judging.
Deciding on the other hand is my word. It's a powerful word I've been given. I was given a will and this powerful word...
Father Corapi says "Love isn't a feeeeeeeeling (he draws it out). Love is a decision."
I like that. I think it's the right exercise of our will. And, by the observation above, we know that Love is a verb. So what does that mean, to Love?
This is May's pile of unavoidable junkmail. It weighs10 lbs. That makes a total of 43 lbs forced on me so far this year, without choice. I have opted out in every way possible, but this is the volume of dead trees I am still forced to receive.
Born between 1785 and 1790, 'tiwi-teqis' (his birth name) came to be the principal leader of the Wallowa Nez Perce. In 1839 he was baptized and christened 'Joseph', a name he carried for the rest of his life, despite later renouncing Christianity. He died in 1871 at the traditional summer camp near the confluence of the Wallowa and Lostine Rivers. The leadership of the band passed to 'hinmato-wyalahyqit', Young Joseph.
Old Joseph was a key player in the 1855 treaty negotiations. In 1863 he refused to sign the "Steal Treaty" which reduced the 1855 reservation by 90% and ceded all of the Wallowa country to the United States.
After his original grave near the present town of Wallowa was robbed twice, Old Chief Joseph was reburied at this cemetery on September 26, 1926.
