I love John Mayer's song "Half of My Heart" anyway, but I just discovered this wonderful singer whose cover of the song is really fantastic. Listen to Kina Grannis's beautiful voice.

Half of My Heart - John Mayer ft. Taylor Swift Cover

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Watching a video on Lord Dunmore who, during the Revolutionary War, offered American blacks freedom and a place in the Ethiopian Corps, if they would fight for the Brits against the colonial Patriots.

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Nov 2009 - 11 lbs junkmail

This is November's pile of unavoidable junkmail. It weighs 11 lbs, the heaviest of any month this year.

The current total is now 87 lbs of junkmail forced on me so far this year, without choice.

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Singular Paradigm came up in a Google search this evening, writing about Honesty vs. Truth. His words were sound, my additional commentary follows:

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Hey, I love the previous comment! Anyway, curious, your post came up on the top of a Google search. I have some thoughts about your statement:

"It becomes easier & easier, with practice, to avoid accountability & being wrong! Also, you seem to get what you want a lot more often. You don't hurt people's feelings as often. It seems a great way to live! Problem is, at some point or another, you reach a point where you are stuck with the accountability of your actions or inactions. You lose yourself entirely."

It seems to me that the first "crack" is the question, who's deciding what's "wrong."  If a person has been abused, as I have, defined as a misuse of power OVER someone, it's easy to see that an abuser may have defined this for someone, and so wariness or an unwillingness to DEFINE what's wrong is actually a small wisdom, because who can play God?

And mightn't it be sadly true also that our world is FILLED with people who have been abused, who have had power misused over them, and so have become, shall we say, uprooted -- unstable of course to varying degrees, but it's better than keeping your roots planted in poison, at least with freedom there's a chance.

So first question, who is deciding what's "wrong" and can we agree?  And second is accountable to who? (or whom?)  Again power issues loom.

It's not so easy.  Of course everything you are saying is "true", but my slant on it is to wonder if everything is necessarily pathological, or, could we see more of the fabric as actually healing, like an organism does naturally, bursting with life and an urge to heal?

We could change our negative mindset first, then we wouldn't necessarily need to *fear* anything, although traumatic reactions would most certainly continue to arise.  We have millenia of healing to do after all, but ever upwards I figure.

If you have any ideas about who an abused person should be accountable to I would appreciate it.

By the way, my visit today had to do with Honesty vs. Truth. My simple view is that honesty not rooted in Truth isn't honesty.  There are different words for what it is.  Venting, emoting, acting out....  Honesty to be genuine needs to be aligned with Truth.  Otherwise it's just slippery sand, not a place you want to build a house.

Thanks for the great thoughts!

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I sometimes wonder if we are altogether stupid and don't get the simple math under most things.  For example our currency.  There is simply no way a currency based in debt can lead to freedom and prosperity.

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I am estimating a total of 100 lbs of junkmail this year, when I get finished weighing. 100 lbs is one whole tree, one whole, beautiful tree that will have died for me this year, just to force me to take junkmail I don't want.  You would think there would be a way to stop this. I don't want trees to die.  It's their ASSUMPTION that I want to know about their products, it's not so.  I can look up products on my own, and if I want stimulus or fresh idea, I know where to go.  Google!  My local paper! Craigslist! Meetup! Yelp! Angies List!  Heck, I can go walk around and look at bulletin boards. No, there's no reason I need junkmail.  I daresay we would all be willing to pay 60 to 75 cents a letter JUST to avoid junkmail.  We can support the Postal Service, there's no reason for these trees to die.

I will keep you posted on how much junkmail it actually is.  Right now I'm expecting a total of about 100 lbs, which is estimated to be one whole tree, this year, just for that.

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Oct 2009 - 9-1/2 lbs junkmail

This is October's pile of unavoidable junkmail. It weighs a whopping 9-1/2 lbs, heavier than any month this year.

The current total is now 76 lbs of junkmail forced on me so far this year, without choice.

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Jul 2009 - 5 lbs junkmail

Aug 2009 - 5-1/2 lbs junkmail

Sep 2009 - 8 lbs junkmail

 I'm catching up with the junkmail project. I had these pics but hadn't posted them yet.

So far now, this adds up to 66-1/2 lbs. of unavoidable junk mail forced on me this year, without choice.

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There's a voice in my head now that beats me up for walking slow. I can't help it really, I'm semi-handicapped with uncertain feet, and painful ankles, knees, hips. Why did D browbeat me and put me down for this? I kept thinking it was "just his way" of expressing frustration.  But what "friend" ever browbeats another just out of frustration for something that can't be changed?

Oh my, I really don't want this ugly, hateful voice in my head. The truth is it hurts not only because it's cruel, but because I believe I'm damaged goods who no one wants.

I still need reprogramming, preferably an intensive course. I wonder if this browbeating voice now will ever go away.

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